15 April 2020 23:53
Day 30 of Lockdown
But here’s one I’ve learned after working. There will always, always, always be gossip. Hard as I tried to stay away from gossip and to keep myself from being gossiped about, gossip was inevitable. It had reached a point when the thing I was avoiding the most actually happened — people started gossiping about me AND I ended up being part of unnecessary drama between people. Aside from that, there were also instances when the first reaction to ANYTHING ANYBODY would say would be negative reactions. So that first negative reaction would of course affect my mood and attitude towards working. I would complain about everything, little things to big favours, but then the thing is, I would always find myself doing the thing I was complaining about. Heck, I would even find myself making sure I was doing the thing I was complaining about with quality. So at the end of the day, all that complaining was useless.
I know people complain for different reasons. I started complaining about everything because it was how everybody would react, and I ended up copying them, going with the flow, not wanting to stand out because I was new. When you’re literally in the moment, your values get tested and you quickly have to choose where to stand. Do I just keep quiet, do my work but not make friends or complain with them and have friends? And because of that, it somehow stayed in my system — I never wanted to be loud and negative and that’s the kind of person I ended up becoming.
I learned that if I wanted to stop being the kind of person I never wanted to be, there’s quite a few things I needed to change. For one thing, I needed to choose who to spend time with at work and the kind of conversations I would have. Second, I needed to keep reminding myself of my “why’s.” When I’m able to remind myself the reason why I’m in a particular place, things just go back to perspective, and I’m able to focus on the things I need to do. And lastly, I needed an unshakeable core that wouldn’t ever bend no matter the situation. Just who do we run to when we need the unshakeable core? The big guy up there. 🙂