For some reason that I just can’t understand, I tend to write when I feel (a little) sad. Today is one of those days. I should actually be celebrating since I’m done with all my heavy deadlines yet here. i. am. sulking.
The past month really took a toll on me (wait I feel like I’ve started an old post with the same sentence lol). I had deadlines left and right. I’d have class in the morning, and then I’d be typing away on my laptop the whole afternoon. There were even times I brought work home — which I’m not very happy about because I feel like work is work and work must stay at work. But it came to a point where my work hours were not enough and I had no choice but to bring work home.
On top of that, I also had personal matters to attend to. Personal matters that required my everything on specific dates; honestly I just wanted to cry because EVERYTHING LITERALLY HAPPENED ALL AT THE SAME TIME. ON THE SAME MONTH.
I know I don’t have to say this but please hold your judgment. I know there are others that deal with more and there are others wishing and praying for things like this, I’m not disregarding that. But we all have different thresholds when it comes to work capacity and balance (well we all have different thresholds for literally everything — pain, work, etc).
Anyway, now that things are less hectic (for the time being, at least), I can write without feeling any sense of guilt and talk about what’s been up. I mean. The last time I wrote anything here was what, last January?
- Time to rest. I decided to be generous when it comes to rest. There have been days spent laying in bed the whole day, going to sleep at 6PM on a weeknight, and choosing not to do anything at all. This for me works best when trying to recuperate.
- Time to do what makes you happy. It’s literally just staying home, watching shows, and (finally) writing. Talking about random things and things related to travel has always made me happy but I constantly find excuses not to do this. One loud excuse is fear and the thought of what people might think. Hence the lack of posts…. But as I write, I’m reminded why this brings me happiness. 🙂
- Time to revive an old hobby. I purchased a new succulent three weeks ago and seeing a little bit of life in my room makes all the difference. I had succulents before; one died and I left the other one in Manila. So I thought it was high time to go and get a new one. Also. I need to buy a pot.
- Time to indulge. I rarely shop, no joke. And the last time I shopped before this was hmm… Christmas? Anyway, funny story. I had zero plans to shop, I just went to Uniqlo to meet my aunt but I ended up seeing all these items and some were even on sale so I thought it was okay, I mean it’s been three months since the last time. Haha anyway, I bought a bucket hat, a skort, and heattech leggings. FUN FACT: I’m not going anywhere cold in the near future but I decided to get one because it was on sale…… and also because I like wearing heattech leggings even in this crazy hot weather bite me. I decided to go back to Uniqlo (yesterday) for those room slippers that I intended to buy with my aunt but forgot to go back to the aisle for it. Haha and as for the jacket… well mainly because it was on sale and I really liked the colour.
- Time to pray. I hate to admit it, but yes, even praying was compromised. The more I was busy with work, the less time I spent praying. I also stopped doing my devotional because I was constantly telling myself I didn’t have enough time to do everything. True, but if only I had managed my time properly, nothing could have been compromised.
There are also things that I realised yet again:
- There’s a right time for squeezing yourself in. Sorry for the lack of better words but hear me out. Lately, I started feeling like I’ve been trying too hard to be part of the circle. Part of it. You know, part of a group. I was reminded of the fact that if they want you there, what the heck then they’ll tell you they want you to be there. They’ll make you feel like they sincerely want you around. There’s no point trying too hard, right? Right.
- Stop complaining if you’re not going to do anything about it. Yes go ahead and complain, freedom of speech, yes. But see complaining will only get you so far. You can keep complaining about the same thing everyday but really though the first step to stop complaining about something is to actually start doing something about it ya know!?
- Take care of yourself. I did say I was going to start prioritising self-care but I ended up neglecting it. When things started to get busy, when I started having a hard time managing my time, I completely stopped taking care of myself. And it showed lol. Anyway, one thing that I really want to learn is how to deal with stress and deadlines with grace. I mean being busy and having deadlines is part of life, but I want to learn how to deal with this calmly, collected, and in a smart way.